heart skipped a beat

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i nearly killed myself today. i watched the golden gate bridge suicide documentary, studied up, decided what i needed to take with me, what to wear…..but i didn’t have cash to take the bus. just one bus ride and i would have been gone forever.

maybe things happen for a reason. maybe i need to stay alive..for some reason unknown to me.

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mariux:

bloomy:

filthy

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i am like.literally the fattest person alive. i hate being out places like the mall where there’s skinny people walking around- skinny people who don’t even try. i am SO disgustingly overweight that it sickens me. today i went for a run..2 miles. then i ate a small bowl of strawberries with splenda and a lite salad. i shouldn’t eat anything until my flight leaves, aka tuesday. 

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(Source: black-leather, via depressedhypothesis)